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Dating Advice on Why Not to Open Your Heart Too Quickly

Dating advice covers many aspects of relationships and dating.

We date for a number of reasons. We date for fun, for company, for something to do, for sex, to find friendship or to find love.

If your reason for dating is to find the partner that is right for you, then there are a few dating tips to help you on your way.

For a start, make sure you are over your past relationships so that you are free and available to embark on a new one. 

If you are serious about wanting a relationship dating awareness is crucial.

When there's high energy between the two of you from the start, if it's easy for you to get carried away and 'fall head over heels' with the person, then check what this is about. 

It can be difficult when you are very physically attracted to someone, so it's all the more important to apply this advice before you start a physical relationship because you could be falling 'in lust' rather than 'in love ' and be carried away by the fun and excitement. 

My dating advice to you is to get to know the person so that you know who or what about them you are falling in love with. Remember, too, that this takes time.

Falling head over heels is more likely to be about infatuation than love. So it can help to be aware of what your feelings are without acting on them too soon. Ask yourself what these feelings are about and what type of attraction this is, whether it's physical, emotional, intellectual or spiritual? 

Hold on to the reins of your heart so that it doesn't run away with you only to go tumbling down later when your expectations and hopes are dashed.

The risk, too, is of becoming emotionally involved before you know who you're getting emotionally involved with. The more emotionally involved you become the harder it might be to let go and start anew if it doesn't work out.

The surest and safest way to go about dating is to take your time to get to know the person before you open your heart. Go about it SLOWLY because it takes time to build up a deep connection with a new partner. 

One of the ways in which you can slow things down is by limiting how much time you spend together at the very beginning of your dating. It's easy for infatuation or physical attraction to make you want to be with each other day and night. 

You need to have some 'space' and still keep your lives separate so that you can objectively assess what's happening. In addition, you need to take time to get to know them so that you can assess whether they are deserving of your love. 

If they take over too much of your time and your life too soon, when you realize they aren't person for you, the gap that's left will when you stop seeing each other, will feel even bigger.

Another problem with opening your heart too quickly and allowing yourself to 'fall in love' is that in this state of mind in these early stages, love can be blind and you risk ignoring danger signs in your new date. 

We may also ignore the signs that our new date is the wrong match because we are too eager to be in a relationship. It's common to make excuses, to pretend bad behaviour never happened, and blithely go on assuming that it will change.

The dating advice and solutions here are to pay attention at the beginning, to your gut instincts and to how you feel when you are with this person and about how they are behaving. Observe your feelings, particularly bad feelings and observe what's going on between the two of you. If the bad feelings persist, it may be a sign to move on. 

Be aware of how you got into past relationships and do something different! If you were too pleasing and didn't speak your mind, stand up for yourself and let the person know your opinions, needs and feelings. If you were too controlling, ask yourself in what ways you can be more relaxed and free. If you were too reticent, ask yourself what's holding you back and what your fears are about opening up.

Act with integrity towards yourself and the other person. Walking your talk is great dating advice because it means that you are acting in the way you would like a partner to. 

Being able to demonstrate the type of behaviour that YOU would like to in a partner, means that you will be seen and recognized for these qualities. It will be those qualities that will ultimately attract your ideal partner to you. 

You can't necessarily change other people, but being willing to change the things you can within you, is the place to start when it comes to dating advice.

About the Author: Cherry Campbell runs workshops and coaches singles people on how to attract the relationship that is right for them. Find out more about coaching, seminars and techniques for clearing fears, past hurts and other emotions at my website which is at www.findyouridealpartner.com. Image photographed and provided by Katie Llibyaw.


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